Friday, 1 October 2010

Kiss my contract?

This poster's been up on Commercial Rd for a short while - it's promoting a new E4 comedy set in a phone shop. I think it's called "Phone Shop", or something.

Anyhow, I couldn't help but get massively annoyed by the garbage that is the slogan "Kiss my contract".

So annoyed, indeed, that I felt I had to take a photo on my phone, then plug my phone into my computer and transfer it across onto my hard drive, and from there upload it onto the internet so that I could share my annoyance with you, right now, on this blog.

I'm assuming (although, to be fair, I can't be certain) that it's some kind of a bizarre play on the well-known young people's insult, "Kiss my arse".

But I'm aware that, by making that assumption, I'm doing the copywriter a massive favour, because in reality, the phrase "Kiss my contract" is pure gibberish nonsense that means nothing, and has no humour attached to it.

Picture the scene. It's 5:30 on a Friday. You're at a marketing agency. There's panic in the air because, oh shit no, we forgot to finalise the copy for the "Phone Shop" posters. The creative team gathers around a table. We need something that reflects the show, that speaks to the target audience, that is funny and irreverent. An intern pipes up, "we could make it insulting - the show has loads of insults in it". All agree, this is a great idea...but how can we make an insult relate to the content of the show - mobile phones? And then, from the corner of the room, out of the shadows, comes a voice - the voice of the stupidest, most lazy fucking copywriter you've ever met. "Kiss my contract?"

4 comments:

Peter said...

I agree. It ranks for dumbness with the Sky Arts campaign which seemed to imply that "Arts" = looking down dancers' cleavages.

Far Corfe said...

And what, pray tell, is wrong with looking down dancers' cleavages Peter? Agree with the overall sentiments though, turgid ad with some fairly lazy copy.

cally said...

I would say its also a rip off of Alan Partridge 'Kiss my face...'? Either way when I saw it, I read it in an Alan Partridge voice. The show looks wank anway, especially if it has to have a catch phrase/funny wig sort of angle...

Batman said...

So glad this page exists. I was also infuriated by this poster and how utterly shit the slogan was, to the point that I googled it in the hope that other people had noticed how shit it was. Thank you for not disappointing. Like Cally I also assumed they were ripping Partridge off. In fact, I'm pretty sure in that episode of Alan Partridge where he says "Kiss my face", it's after he's been offered a new contract isn't it?

Utter arse-cleft this show. The highlight of the trailer for it is:
"You can't go around calling yourself a doctor if you aren't actually a doctor"
"Try telling Dr. Dre that"

That quality comedy nugget has also been ripped off